Remember that kid in your class who was good at everything. He got good grades, did well in sports, was interested in music and had a bunch of cool friends. He even got selected for the school play. And whats worse, he always appeared to be having a whole lot of fun. And you wondered (and quite frankly I continued to wonder till very recently) how on-earth did he get time for everything.
The mystery confused me when I was younger. And then it faded off in the some dark corner for many many years. Only to reappear and haunt me. As my son headed on from one grade to next, I probed further to solve this puzzle. I discovered the five secrets that are the making of confidence, performance, passion and personality. Here they are:
Play: There is some wisdom in the saying: All work and No play makes Jack a Dull Boy. So allow for play and hobbies. Play nourishes the mind. And hobbies teach kids to think about problems and formulate possible solutions. Skills that are valuable not only for school work but also for life. It empowers them and improves their self esteem. Just like you need to eat breakfast to loose weight - children need to play to focus on studies.
So, Don’t compromise and don’t negotiate on Play Time even during Exams.
Taste Success: Can you bake a cake that you’ve never tasted? Or wear a dress that you’ve never seen. I guess not. Then how can children strive for success without tasting success.
Victory is a unique experience- the elation and happiness; the pride and euphoria; the moment of being a Hero. And a child deserves to experience it- over and over again- before he can strive for it.
I know this sounds like a paradox. How can you experience success before being successful. But fear not. Help her achieve her first few successes. Gift them to her. Help her win a small friendly race. Prepare her for the poem recitation, write the best homework essay with her, or the nicest project work- and let her feel the elation of being a Hero! And ehe will take the next leap all by herself. Soon- it will become a ‘bad’ habit. She would work harder and longer and smarter- just for that feeling of victory.
Concepts not Chapters: Spend time and teach your little one. If she is not in senior school you still can teach her. Focus on discussing concepts. Go beyond the school text. Share a few interesting trivia. Watch youtube videos at night. Stay involved and learn together. School work will become a cake-walk. And your child would understand the underlying logic of the lesson. It will stay with her much longer than the final exams!
Let Go: Inspite of all the efforts, there would be times when reports are bad and morale is down. These are times of introspection and correction. Don’t take the convenient route and blame the child or the teacher. Be ruthless in pointing areas where she needs more work. And then forgive old mistakes. Just like that- turn a new leaf and go back to the grind.
Work Hard: Yes. Have a work regimen. Fix a time of day for work. And Work Hard. The best are those who have worked the hardest and worked the longest. So in the hour or two that she studies everyday- make sure she is focused.
But most importantly, remember that she is your special one. She is unique and beautiful. Don’t compare and contrast, because no one can be as perfect as she already is!
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