The ‘Bai’ Crisis

Although ‘The Financial Times’ would like you to believe that the modern India is run by the Big Industries, the FDIs and the Financial markets; any regular home-maker would tell you that the wheels of the Urban India are being turned by the (not so) friendly neighborhood ‘Bai’. She rules the heart and mind of the Indian urban women. She throws tantrums that would put young children to shame, would demand praise and attention that would give the mother-in-law stiff competition and if an urban homemaker is waiting for someone in the evening, its most likely her Bai not her husband. When they leave, which they insensitively do, they give you a dirty kitchen and a panic attack. And last week I had, what can be best described as ‘The Bai Crisis’.  This is what happened.

Last Wednesday, my morning started very much as usual.  After the morning rituals of packing Aby to school and then Sid to office, I finally sat with a hot cup of tea waiting for that pleasant ring of doorbell. It was time for my Bai to come and wash, clean and scrub the house till it’s shining brightly. So I waited…and waited. And then I waited a little more. But the bell did not ring. I had a storm of panic building inside of me when finally the bell rang and my Bai arrived. She was in a pesky mood. (They have a way of letting you know-- the door is closed with that extra bang, the utensils in the kitchen make just that extra noise, and they have just that little edge in the answers.)

In any case, I am a veteran at employing and managing Bais so I picked up the signs immediately and started doing a cause-action analysis. Is this because of the extra-washing I made her do; is this the beginning of the pitch to raise pay or are there other deeper darker unknown reasons? I definitely did not want to know. So I decided to treat her to breakfast and tea. That thawed the mood temporarily only. Soon I got tired and wondered why I should be pampering her without any reason and I stopped. Things then took a turn for the worse and this led to an offensive cold war.  During the next few days, I figured that she had picked up 2 more jobs. Although I was still paying her more than the 2 new jobs combined, she had this ‘ I don’t give a damn’ attitude for my job. Now, I liked this woman and did not want to loose her. She, in past, had been loyal, with decent work performance. Any one would tell you that’s rare to come by. So somehow I had to salvage the situation and that required thought and strategy.

The management of Bais requires as much strategy and diplomacy as is required to untangle the Kashmir issue. With both parties adamant on their own skewed perspectives, the standoffs require as much agility and manipulation as the bureaucracy requires while preparing the Lokpal bill.

After much thought and contemplation, I came up with a two-step strategy.

Step One: Show of Power: The next day I sounded off the guards and neighbors that I need a new Bai.  (remember that the Bais are as well networked as some of us on face book. They know every thing about everybody, so I assume that my Bai came to know about my search immediately).

In a couple of days I got a good contender to replace her. I told her I would like to see her work for a few days. She agreed and next morning there she was- for all to be seen-especially my ‘full of attitude’ Bai. Although I said nothing, I did see a slight sense of insecurity. Just what I wanted!

Step Two: Diplomacy and Negotiations: Then came the day of ‘across-the-table’ talk. So I called my Bai after she finished her work, gave her breakfast and tea and then was about to initiate the conversation, when she said, “ Didi, I left my other jobs. I get very tiered, I would rather just do our work.” I told her I was concerned for her well-being and value her loyalty. And so was thinking of increasing her salary. Thank you didi, aap kitne aachhe ho! Hum apne ghar ko khub sundar banayeinge (referring to my house); apne bagiche mein phul wale paudhe lagaynge….And she was back to her zealous self.

At the end, I did increase her salary by a substantial amount but then I bought peace of mind, loyalty and devotion- all expensive items in today’s world. But mostly I avoided a ‘Bai Crisis’- for now.